I was blessed with great parents who had me later in life. They could have been my grandparents – I was only a few years older when my first grandchild was born than my Mom was when I was born. There may be some drawbacks to older parents – I don’t remember them. Looking back I do treasure the wisdom they had and the patience they had with me. I didn’t get lots of what they told me when I was 15 or 16 or even 25, but looking back – I sure get it now.
One of the sayings that I heard often, that now resonates with me, is….. “It’s not pie.” If someone else gets some – there’s not any less for you – there is enough for everyone. I realize now they were teaching me about scarcity factor and how sad it is that we often feel threatened by others success, beauty, achievements or opportunities. If someone else has success, it doesn’t lessen our chance of success. Competition may be healthy in sports but it’s not in many aspects of life. Happiness is multiplied when we all win or all find our way. I often listen to jealous comments or sometimes my own thoughts and hear my Dad say – lots to go around. It’s not pie!!!
Dad also explained it to me once using a table as an analogy. That when we are sitting at the table of success and acceptance and others start to come to the table – we can act like a toddler and say “this is my table” or we can add more places and make the table bigger. Big tables full of happy, fulfilled individuals are a great place to spend time. Your place is still always there.
Scarcity is used in marketing and we are bombarded with a perception that if we don’t grab something right away we will miss our chance. There’s not enough to go around. We might miss out. It may be true with a shipment of new iPhones; not true for tenants of humanity.
Scarcity can sometimes contribute positively in our life. As we age and time is limited, we begin to prioritize our goals. We start to feel that there is not enough time left in life to waste. Time becomes precious and we spend more time on what we value. Time is finite and I guess that’s why this concept of acceptance is so important to me. Everyone’s time is finite. Let’s share happiness while we are here.
The lesson my parents were trying so hard to teach me had nothing to do with marketing or aging. It usually referred to something as simple as friendship or kindness, or something as complex as human rights. They pointed out that it was not threatening to me when friends or races or genders or lifestyles are granted opportunities or freedoms, acceptance and humanity. Their gains made the world a better place. It didn’t diminish or threaten my place in my home, my school, my community, in the world or in heaven. I need not fear or feel I was losing because someone else is gaining ground.
I hope my children and my grandchildren understand how much better the world is when everyone is accepted and respected and treated with kindness. “It’s not pie” … we will be fine- in fact we will all be better!