I knew it was time to go on a diet when I was watching a documentary on television about boxing – why was I watching boxing?? No idea – something was over and I was obviously too tuned out to look for something new. During my tired stupor staring at the screen, I heard the commentator talking about wrestling weights. I tuned in long enough to realize that I was no longer a welter weight or a light weight or even a middle weight – in fact the only classification that I could box in now was heavy weight. I have no intention of ever boxing, no interest in boxing – I don’t even like to watch boxing but that was a profound moment for me. I was a heavy weight. I was literally a heavy weight in a category that included big, husky men.
It was time. Time to buy some books on dieting and read. Time to buy some magazines on fitness and read. Time to buy some small weights to start the program and some bigger weights for later in the schedule. Time to buy a fitness video and ensure that the DVD players downstairs was working and that the floor space is clear of furniture to work out. Maybe I needed to add some bands and a band video to my collection. I read that they were really effective.
Now it is time to pick a day to start the diet and exercise regime. Next Monday! Good choice – I will have a relaxing weekend, make a few of my favorite recipes that I won’t be able to enjoy for awhile and find strength and determination for Monday. Oh crap, I have a dinner meeting on Tuesday and I have to bring a dessert. Okay, Wednesday, I will start Wednesday. But we are heading away for the weekend and I can’t be on program if I am a guest in someone else’s home – it will have to wait until the next Monday. On the next Monday, I was sad. It was the anniversary of the loss of a good friend. This isn’t the day to start. Tuesday, I had a meeting and decided to bake a banana bread to take and share with the girls. Now we are only a week and a half until Easter and everyone is coming home to feast. This will have to wait until after Easter.
Well, I have been having that conversation with myself for the last 15 years and I have yet to have found a convenient time to start my diet.
Even with all of the time conflicts and life obstacles in my way, there are not too many diets I haven’t squeezed in. I have been a Weight Watcher and a packaged food eater, I have been a grapefruit connoisseur and a medical soup diet joiner. I have made shakes and puddings and entered every calorie I have consumed on my IPad – and I have lost weight on them all – for three weeks. When I finally commit to a diet, my will- power comes to me in three-week bouts. I lose 5 pounds the first week, feel great. I continue to lose the second and third week – in fact I can feel it in my jeans. Then bang, I fall off, make a big recipe of ‘muskrat houses’ and eat most of them before they cool and set. What is that?
I know there are philosophies that indicate that I have a deep-rooted problem that haunts me from my youth or that I have self-esteem issues and eat to self soothe. That may be possible, but I also know that I love food. When we go on a holiday, I pick out the restaurants before I pick out the sites to see. When the kids are coming home for the weekend, I love to make their favorite dishes. I read cookbooks like they were magazines and can get quite excited watching a good cooking show. When I travelled to Paris recently, the highlight, alongside the beautiful architecture, the liquid gold of the Eiffel Tower at night, and seeing the Mona Lisa at the Louvre, was the food. Sipping that first delicious slurp of cafe crème — mmm; then biting into a real Parisian croissant — rich, buttery and delectable; sharing goat cheese salads and wine and laughter with family or friends – that for me is what memories are made of. When I try to remove food and food thoughts from my life for health and diet reasons, life becomes more bland. Food adds dimension and contentment. So many of the happy times in life are spent around a table or sharing food with people that you love.
But, I also know what it feels like, emotionally and physically to be overweight and even obese, and I don’t like being there. I know what the recent research says about our nutritional choices and the links to many diseases and conditions. I know that there is truth in “you are what you eat.” As an old broad, I am also learning that there is a middle ground. There are delicious foods that are healthy, even chocolate in moderation. Indulgences on occasions are okay. I guess like all things in life there must be a balance. Time to eat heartily and celebrate and time to eat lettuce and walk.
