I love the Maxine cartoon about well-behaved women rarely making history, or decent margaritas. I totally agree. Living too safe, or too straight and narrow, might hold us back from taking those chances that make a difference in life. I always had an affinity for students that demanded a little more of me in the classroom, who didn’t fit into the straight A list. I love my friends that have a history, that have lived some bumps and bruises. Too well–behaved or too-perfect types tend to be a little boring.
I also know people on the other side of that coin – who have no regard for manners, safety, respect for others, or any vague idea of conforming to the expectations of the situation. Rarely do these people make history either, and their idea of fun often doesn’t spread to the room. I have no desire to spend time with those individuals, and usually develop a pressing appointment when in their company.
But, there is something to be said for the middle. I love the well-adjusted, good intentioned, thoughtful friend who has “been there and done that” and more importantly, remembers and owns all of those mistakes. These troopers, in my experience, tend to have a little more depth and understanding of the human condition. The world is not so black and white, and for them, grey is quite acceptable. They have been in situations in which they have been embarrassed and hurt and have learned some real life lessons. They realize that perfect is not the goal nor should ever be the line that we measure others against. I really believe that we were put here, blessed with free will, to experience and to grow; so that we leave this place a little better, a little stronger, and maybe at least try, to make a little positive difference in the lives of others.
Experience cannot be gained, if no mistakes are made. Those times that we screw up royally will cost us in a myriad of ways. If we are lucky it will be just our pride, but it may be our finances, our health, possibly our friends and our relationships. If we are smart and self-actualizing, we will try not to make them again, or at least not so badly. In time, we may get it right. The quote by Rita Mae Brown sums it up nicely, “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”
Maybe this is important to me because it helps me justify the countless times that I have screwed up; the numerous blunders and the multitude of self-indulgences that I have credited to my journey thus far. I do believe that in this “old broad” stage of life – I am finally learning. I slip-up often but I have more understanding of others’ choices, am less judgmental of situations and people, and am more realistic about differing circumstances.
I know, if I knew back then, what I know now, I would not have been so embarrassed by my mistakes. I would have learned more from watching the mistakes of others and not felt a need to repeat them for myself. Think how much faster society would progress and how much further ahead we would all get, if we could learn from others’ mistakes in our youth.. Every one of the ten thousand lectures that I gave to my children, or my students, was to try to prepare them for the path of life, by avoiding the mistakes that I had already learned. My parents did the same thing for me. But there must be a life blueprint that says we have to learn our lessons by ourselves and that is the only way we can evolve and move to the next level. The good thing about that is, troopers are fun to be with and share life with. They’ve had some bruises, they get it! Avoid the folks who make no mistakes, or admit to them never, they are the ones going nowhere!
I love this grandma ❤️