I am sure I was a menopausal mistake…..Mom and Dad were middle-aged and my brothers were driving cars before I was riding a bike. After Mom and Dad passed away, when we were going through files, I found a parcel of cards mailed from family and friends to Mom and Dad on the occasion of my birth. I smiled when I read them as they all said pretty much the same thing, “ Wow – you had a baby – we didn’t even know you were pregnant.” I gathered Mom was a tad embarrassed to be having a baby so late in life and kept the secret until she and Dad had time to assimilate it, which took the entire pregnancy by the sound of it.
But from the moment of birth on, I never for one minute felt like a mistake. They often made the comment – “we were so blessed to have you later in life – you kept us young”.
My extended family on my Mom’s side were staunch, serious, hard-working, very right-wing Christians. There was no card playing, no dancing and to be honest, I don’t remember a lot of smiling in my maternal grandparents home. I grew up listening to their lengthy religious diatribe and scripture being quoted whenever they observed something they didn’t approve of, or someone’s views differed from their own. I heard often that good God-fearing people got up early in the morning and worked hard all day….there would be no slothing around in this house.
My Mother, a true-believer herself, somehow in the midst of all the haughty judgements and “God-given truth” found her own way to escape and serve God without labeling, marginalizing, demeaning or attacking. She loved, and accepted and defended. I remember her in situations where she was being cornered listening to pious assertions that we must help others “get right with God”. She would point out that God created diversity and we should celebrate it. When she caught us criticizing or assailing others – she would point out that the interests we were protecting were our own, not God’s.
Silence, forgiveness, trust and acceptance don’t come as easy to me as it seemed to come to my Mom, but I am so glad I had her in my life to show me that there are many ways to serve God.
Treating our fellow humans with acceptance and kindness, regardless of the religion they chose, the lifestyle they live, or the country that they come from, was certainly her way. Even though for her it was not modeled in her youth. Following Jesus ways, she loved and she fed and she fed and she loved – I think the world would be a much happier place if we concentrated on love and food, and didn’t worry quite as much about the differences among us and being the jealous guardians of the gates to Heaven. Thanks Mom